Janet:     Who is it? Who's there?

Frank (Brad): It's only me, Janet.

Janet:     Oh, Brad darling, come in.  Oh! Brad Oh... Yes, my darling...but what if...

Frank (Brad): It's all right, Janet, everything's going to be alright.

Janet:     Oh, I hope so, my darling.  Oh...Ah...ahh OHHH! Oh it's you!

Frank:     I'm afraid so, Janet, but isn't it nice...

Janet:     Oh, you beast, you monster...Oh what have you done with Brad?

Frank:     Oh, well, nothing.  Why, do you think I should?

Janet:     You tricked me...I wouldn't have...I've never..never...

Frank:     Yes, yes I know, but it isn't all bad, is it?  I think you really found it quite
           pleasurable.

Janet:     Oh, stop...I mean help...Brad Brad!..Oh Brad!!

Frank:     Shhh. Brad's probably asleep by now. Do you want him to see you like...This!

Janet:     Like this..like how??! Oh, it's your fault...you're to blame... I was saving myself...

Frank:     Well, I'm sure you're not SPENT yet...

Janet:     Promise you won't tell Brad?

Frank:     Cross my heart and hope to die...

Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad darling, it's no good here.  It'll destroy us.

Brad:      Don't worry Janet, we'll be away from here in the morning.

Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad you're so strong and protective.

Brad:      YOU!

Frank:     I'm afraid so, Brad, but isn't it nice...

Brad:      Why YOU!  What have you done with Janet?

Frank:     Nothing.  Why?  Do you think I should?
Brad:      You tricked me, I wouldn't have...I've never never...never...

Frank:     Oh Yes yes, I know...but it isn't all bad, is it?  Not even half bad, I think you really
           quite enjoyed it.

Frank:     Oh... so soft...

Brad:      Stop it...stop it...oh Janet...JANET!

Frank:     Shhh! Janet's probably asleep by now, do you want her to see you... like this!

Brad:      Like this, like how? It's your fault, you're to blame, I thought it was the real thing!

Frank:     Oh come on, Brad, admit it, you liked it, didn't you?  There's no crime in giving yourself
           over to pleasure, Brad.  Oh Brad, you've wasted so much time already...Janet needn't
           know, I won't tell.

Brad:      Well, promise you won't tell...

Frank:     On my mother's graoouuuuuu....

Riff Raff: Master, Rocky has broken his chains and vanished. The new playmate is loose and somewhere
           on the grounds.  Magenta has just released.. the dogs.

Frank:     Mmmmm?  Coming!

Janet:     What's happening here?  Where's Brad?  Where's anybody?  Oh, Brad. Brad, my darling, how
           could I have done this to you?  Oh, if only we hadn't made this journey... if only the
           car hadn't broken down... oh, if only we were amongst friends...  Or sane persons, Oh
           Brad, what have they done with him...  Oh, Brad, Oh Brad-How could you?

Janet:     Oh, but you're hurt...Did they do this to you?  Here, I'll dress your wounds... baby
           there...

Narrator:  Emotion, agitation or disturbance of the mind...Vehement or excited mental state.  It is
           also a powerful and irrational master...and from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly viewed
           on their television monitor there seemed little doubt that Janet was, indeed, ... its
           slave.

Magenta and Columbia: Tell us about it, Janet.
 

                      TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME

Janet:     I was feeling done in, couldn't win
           I'd only ever kissed before.

Columbia:  You mean she's...

Magenta:   Uh huh.

Janet:     I thought there's no use getting
           Into heavy petting
           It only leads to trouble
           And seat wetting.

           Now all I want to know is how to go.
           I've tasted blood and I want more.

Magenta and Columbia: More, more, more

Janet:     I'll put up no resistance
           I want to stay the distance
           I've got an itch to scratch
           I need assistance.

           Toucha toucha toucha touch me
           I want to be dirty
           Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me
           Creature of the night.

           Then if anything grows, while you pose,
           I'll oil you up and rub you down.

Magenta and Columbia: Down, down, down.

Janet:     And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction
           You need a friendly hand and I need action.

           Toucha toucha toucha touch me
           I want to be dirty
           Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me
           Creature of the night.

Columbia:  Toucha toucha toucha touch me

Magenta:   I want to be dirty.

Columbia:  Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me,

Magenta:   Creature of the night.

Janet:     Oh, toucha toucha toucha touch me I want to be dirty
           Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me, creature of the night.

Rocky:     Creature of the night
Brad:      Creature of the night?
Frank:     Creature of the night.
Magenta:   Creature of the night.
Riff Raff: Creature of the night.
Columbia:  Creature of the night.
Rocky:     Creature of the night!
Janet:     Creature of the night.

Riff Raff: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!  Merrrrrcy!

Frank:     How did it happen?  I understood you were to be watching!

Riff Raff: I was only away for a minute...master

Frank:     Well, see if you can find him on the monitor.

Riff Raff: Master, master...we have a visitor.

Brad:      Hey, Scotty!  ...Dr. Everett Scott.

Riff Raff: You know this earthling ...person?

Brad:      I most certainly do!  He happens to be an old friend of mine.

Frank:     I see.  So this wasn't simply a chance meeting.  You came here with a purpose.

Brad:      I told you, my car broke down.  I was telling the truth.

Frank:     I know what you told me...but this Dr. Everett Scott, his name is not unknown to me.

Brad:      He was a science teacher at Denton High School.

Frank:     And now he works for your government, doesn't he, Brad?  He's attached to the bureau of
           investigation of that which you call UFO's!  Isn't that right, Brad?

Brad:      He might be...I don't know.

Riff Raff: The intruder is entering the building, master.

Frank:     He'll probably be... in the Zen room. Shall we inquire of him in person?

Brad:      Great Scott!

Dr. Scott: Frank N Furter, we meet at last.

Brad:      Dr. Scott!

Dr. Scott: Brad! What are you doing here?
Frank:     Don't play games, Dr. Scott.  You know perfectly well what Brad Majors is doing here.
           It was part of your plan, was it not?  That he and his female should check the layout for
           you.  Well, unfortunately for you, all the plans are to be changed.  I am adaptable, Dr.
           Scott; I know Brad is.

Dr. Scott: I can assure you that Brad's presence here comes as a complete surprise to me.  I came
           here to find Eddie.

Brad:      Eddie!  I've seen him!

Frank:     Eddie!  What do you know of Eddie, Dr. Scott?

Dr. Scott: I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things.  You see Eddie happens to be my
           nephew.

Brad:      Dr. Scott.

Janet:     Ah!

Dr. Scott: Janet!

Janet:     Dr. Scott!

Brad:      Janet!

Janet:     Brad!

Frank:     Rocky!

Dr. Scott: Janet!

Janet:     Dr. Scott!

Brad:      Janet!

Janet:     Brad!

Frank:     Rocky!

Dr. Scott: Janet!

Janet:     Dr. Scott!

Brad:      Janet!

Janet:     Brad!

Frank:     Rocky!

Frank:     Listen...I made you...and I can break you just as easily.

Magenta:   Master, dinner is prepared!

Frank:     Excellent. Under the circumstances, formal dress is to be optional.

Narrator:  Food has always played a vital role in Life's rituals. The breaking of the bread, the last
           meal of the condemned man, and now, this meal.  However informal it might appear, you can
           be sure that there was to be very little.. bon ami.

Frank:     A toast... to absent friends...

All:       To absent friends.

Frank:     And Rocky.  Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Rocky...
           Shall we?

Dr. Scott: We came here to discuss Eddie.

Columbia:  Eddie?!

Frank:     That's a rather tender subject.  Another slice anyone?

Columbia:  Excuse me...

Dr. Scott: I knew he was in with a bad crowd, but it was worse than I imagined...Aliens!

Rocky:     Ugh?!

Brad & Janet: Doctor Scott!

Frank:     Go on, Dr. Scott.  Or should I say Dr. Von Scott?

Brad:      Just what exactly are you implying?

Dr. Scott: It's all right!

Brad:      But Dr. Scott!

Scott:     That's all right, Brad!!
 

                                   EDDIE

           From the day he was born
           He was trouble.
           He was the thorn
           In his mother's side.
           She tried in vain...

Narrator:  ...but he never caused her nothing but shame.

Scott:     He left home the day she died.
           From the day she was gone
           All he wanted
           Was Rock 'n' Roll porn
           And a motorbike.
           Shooting up junk...

Narrator:  He was a low down cheap little punk!

Scott:     Taking everyone for a ride.

All:       When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy
           You knew he was a no-good kid.
           But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife

Frank:     What a guy!

Janet:     Makes you cry.

Scott:     Und I did.

Columbia:  Everybody shoved him.
           I very nearly loved him.
           I said, hey, listen to me;
           Stay sane inside insanity!
           But he locked the door and threw away the key.

Scott:     But he must have been drawn
           Into something,
           Making him warn
           Me in a note that reads...

All:       What's it say?  What's it say?

Eddie's voice: I'm out of my hed.
           Oh, hurry, or I may be dead.
           They mustn't carry out their evil deeds.

All:       When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy
           You knew he was a no-good kid.
           But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife

Frank:     What a guy!
Janet:     Makes you cry.

Scott:     Und I did.

All:       When Eddie said he didn't like his Taut
           You knew he was a no-good kid.
           But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife

Frank:     What a guy!

Janet:     Makes you cry.

Scott:     Und I did.

Frank:     Rocky!  How could you?

                          WISE UP

           I'll tell you once;  I won't tell you twice.
           You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.
           Your apple pie don't taste too nice.
           You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.

           I've laid the seed; it should be all you need.
           You're as sensual as a pencil, wound up like an E or first string.
           When we made it, didja hear a bell ring?

           Ya gotta block?  Well, take my advice.
           You better wise up, Janet Weiss.
           The transducer will seduce ya.

Janet:     My feet!  I can't move my feet!

Scott:     My wheels!  My God, I can't move my wheels!

Brad:      It's as if we're glued to the spot!

Frank:     You are!  So quake with fear, you tiny fools!

Janet:     We're trapped!

Frank:     It's something you'll get used to.
           A mental mind fuck can be nice.

Scott:     You won't find Earth people quite the easy mark you imagine.  This sonic transducer...it
           is, I suppose, some kind of audio-vibrato-physio-molecular transport device?

Brad:      You mean...

Scott:     Yes, Brad, it's something we ourselves have been working on for quite some time.  But it
           seems our friend here has found a means of perfecting it. A device which is capable of
           breaking down solid matter and then projecting it through space and, who knows, perhaps
           even time.. itself!

Janet:     You mean he's going to send us to another planet?

Frank:     Planet, shmanet, Janet!
           You better wise up, Janet Weiss.
           You better wise up, build your thighs up,
           You better wise up

Narrator:  And then she cried out...

Janet:     Stop!

Frank:     Don't get hot and flustered!
           Use a bit of mustard.

Brad:      You're a hot dog, but you better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter.

Scott:     You're a hot dog, but you'd better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter.

Janet:     You're a hot dog --

Columbia:  My God!  I can't stand any more of this!  First you spurn me for Eddie, and then you throw
           him off like an old overcoat for Rocky!  You chew people up and then you spit them out
           again...I loved you..do you hear me?  I loved you!  And what did it get me?  Yeah, I'll
           tell you: a big nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain others of
           their love and emotion.  Yeah, well, I've  had enough You're gonna choose between me and
           Rocky, so named because of the rocks in his head.

Frank:     It's not easy having a good time... even smiling makes my face ache... and my children
           turn on me...Rocky's behaving just the way that Eddie did.  Do you think I made a
           mistake, splitting his brain between the two of them?

Magenta:   Ahhhh!  I grow veary of this world!  When shall we return to Transylvania, huh?

Frank:     Magenta, I am indeed grateful to both you and your brother Riff Raff.  You have both
           served me well.  Loyalty such as yours shall not go unrewarded.  You will discover that
           when the mood takes me, I can be quite generous.

Magenta:   I ask for nothing...nothing.

Frank:     And you shall receive it...in abundance!  Come, we are ready for the floor show!

Narrator:  And so, by some extraordinary co-incidence, fate, it seemed, had decided that Brad and
           Janet should keep that appointment with their friend, Dr. Everett Scott.  But it was to
           be in a situation which none of them would have possibly foreseen.  And, just a few hours
           after announcing their engagement, Brad and Janet had both tasted forbidden fruit.  This
           in itself was proof that their host was a man of little morals...and some persuasion.
           What further indignities were they to be subjected to?  And what of the floor show that
           is spoken of?  In an empty house?  In the middle of the night?  What diabolical plan had
           been shaped by Frank's crazed imagination?  What indeed?  From what had gone before, it
           was clear that this was to be no picnic.
 

                            ROSE TINT MY WORLD
 

           A. FLOOR SHOW
 

Columbia:  It was great when it all began.
           I was a regular Frankie fan.
           But it was over when he had the plan
           To start a-working on a muscle man.
           Now the only thing that gives me hope
           Is my love of a certain dope.
           Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.

Rocky:     I'm just seven hours old,
           And truly beautiful to behold.
           And somebody should be told
           My libido hasn't been controlled.
           Now the only thing I've come to trust
           Is an orgasmic rush of lust.
           Rose tints my world and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.

Brad:      It's beyond me; help me Mommy!
           I'll be good; you'll see.
           Take this dream away.
           What's this?  Let's see,
           I feel sexy!
           What's come over me?
           Wo!  Here it comes again.

Janet:     I feel released; bad times decease.
           My confidence has increased; reality is here.
           The game has been disbanded; my mind has been expanded.
           It's a gas that Frankie's landed!
           His lust is so sincere.
 

           B. FANFARE/DON'T DREAM IT

Frank:     Whatever happened to Fay Wray?
           That delicate, satin-draped frame?
           As it clung to her thigh
           How I started to cry
           'cause I wanted to be dressed just the same.

           Give yourself over to absolute pleasure.
           Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh.
           Erotic nightmares, beyond any measure
           And sensual daydreams to treasure forever.
           Can't you just see it?  Oh, oh, oh... oh!

           Don't dream it, be it.

All:       Don't dream it, be it.

Scott:     Ach!  We've got to get out of this trap before this decadence saps our wills. I've got
           to be strong, and try to hang on, or else my mind may well snap, and my life will be
           lived... for the thrills!

Brad:      It's beyond me;  help me Mommy!

Janet:     God bless Lilly St. Cyr.
 
 

           C. WILD AND UNTAMED THING

Frank:     My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my...my!
           I'm a wild and an untamed thing.
           I'm a bee with a deadly sting.
           You get a hit and your mind goes ping.
           Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing.
           So let the party and the sounds rock on.
           We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone.
           Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

All:       We're a wild and an untamed thing.
           We're bees with a deadly sting.
           You get a hit and your mind goes ping.
           Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing.
           So let the party and the sounds rock on.
           We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone.
           Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

           We're a wild and an untamed thing.
           We're bees with a deadly sting.
           You get a hit and your mind goes ping.
           Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing.
           So let the party and the sounds rock on.
           We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone, gone, gone.
           Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

Riff Raff: Frank N Furter, it's all over.
           Your mission is a failure;
           Your lifestyle's too extreme.
           I'm your new commander;
           You now are my prisoner.
           We return to Transylvania.
           Prepare the transit beam.

Frank:     Wait!  I can explain!
 

           I'M GOING HOME
 

Frank:     On the day I went away...

All:       Goodbye...

Frank:     Was all I had to say...

All:       Now I...

Frank:     I want to come again, and stay.

All:       Oh, my, my...

Frank:     Smile, and that will mean I may.
           'cause I've seen, oh, blue skies
           Through the tears in my eyes
           And I realize, I'm going home.

All:       I'm going home.

Frank:     Everywhere it's been the same...

All:       ...feeling...

Frank:     ...like I'm outside in the rain...

All:       ...wheeling...

Frank:     ...free to try and find a game...

All:       ...dealing...

Frank:     ...cards for sorrow, cards for pain.
           'cause I've seen, oh, blue skies
           Through the tears in my eyes
           And I realize, I'm going home.

Frank & All: I'm going home.

Magenta:   How sentimental.

Riff Raff: And also presumptuous of you.  You see, when I said WE were to return to Transylvania,
           I referred only to Magenta and myself.  I'm sorry, however, if you found my words
           misleading, but you see, you are to remain here, in spirit, anyway.

Scott:     Great heavens!  That's a laser!

Riff Raff: Yes, Dr. Scott.  A laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti-matter.

Brad:      You mean...you're going to kill him?  What's his crime?

Scott:     You saw what became of Eddie.  Society must be protected.

Riff Raff: Exactly, Dr. Scott.  And now, Frank N Furter, your time has come.  Say goodbye to all of
           this, and hello... to oblivion!

Brad:      Good God!

Janet:     Oh!  You killed them!

Magenta:   But I thought you liked them.  They liked you.

iff Raff: They didn't like me!  He never liked ME!

Scott:     You did right.

Riff Raff: A decision had to be made.

Scott:     You're O.K. by me.

Riff Raff: Dr. Scott, I'm sorry about your nephew.

Scott:     Eddie?  Yes, well, perhaps it was all for the best, heh, heh, heh.

Riff:      You should leave now, Dr. Scott, while it is still possible.  We are about to beam the
           entire house to the planet Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania.  Go...  Now!  Our
           noble mission is completed, my most beautiful sister, and soon we shall return to the
           moon-drenched shores of our beloved planet.

Magenta:   Ah, sweet Transsexual, land of night.  To sing and dance once more to your dark refrain...
           To take that - step, to the right...

Both:      HAH!!

Riff Raff: But it's the pelvic THRUST...

Transylvanians:  That drives you insane!

Magenta:   And our world...will do the Time Warp...again!
 

                               SUPER HEROES

Brad:      I've done a lot; God knows I've tried
           To find the truth.  I've even lied.
           But all I know is down inside I'm

All:       Bleeding...

Janet:     And super heroes come to the feast
           To taste the flesh not yet deceased.
           And all I know is still the beast is

All:       Feeding...
           Ahh, ahh...

Narrator:  And crawling on the planet's face
           Some insects, called the human race...
           Lost in time, and lost in space,
           And meaning.

All:       Meaning.
 

                  SCIENCE FICTION/DOUBLE FEATURE - REPRISE
 

Usherette: Science Fiction
           Double Feature.
           Frank has built and
           Lost his creature.
           Darkness has conquered
           Brad and Janet.
           The servants gone to
           A distant planet.
           Wo, oh, oh, oh.
           At the late night, double feature,
           Picture show.
           I want to go, oh, oh, oh.
           To the late night, double feature,
           Picture show.