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The Original Movie Script

The Rocky Horror Picture Show - Richard O'Brien

SCIENCE FICTION/DOUBLE FEATURE

Usherette: Michael Rennie was ill
           The Day the Earth Stood Still
           But he told us where we stand.
           And Flash Gordon was there
           In silver underwear,
           Claude Rains was the Invisible Man.
           Then something went wrong
           For Fay Wray and King Kong;
           They got caught in a celluloid jam.
           Then at a deadly pace
           It Came From... Outer Space.
           And this is how the message ran:

Chorus:    Science fiction, double feature
           Doctor X will build a creature.
           See androids fighting Brad and Janet
           Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet
           Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh
           At the late night, double feature, picture show.

Usherette: I knew Leo G. Carrol
           Was over a barrel
           When Tarantula took to the hills.
           And I really got hot
           When I saw Jeanette Scott
           Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.
           Dana Andrews said Prunes
           Gave him the runes
           And passing them used lots of skills.
           But When Worlds Collide,
           Said George Powell to his bride,
           "I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills,"
           Like a...

           I wanna go
           Oh Oh Oh
           To the late night double feature picture show,
           By RKO,
           Oh Oh Oh
           To the late night double feature picture show,
           In the back row,
           Oh Oh Oh
           To the late night, double feature, picture show!

Dentonian: Here they come!

Photographer: Let's get a picture. Close together now. The folks and then the grandparents. Yes,
all the close family. Ahhh, hold that. Beautiful. And... smile! Congratulations!

Ralph: I guess we finally did it, huh.

Brad: I don't think there's any doubt about that. You and Betty have been almost inseparable
since you met in Dr. Scott's refresher courses.

Ralph: Well to tell you the truth, Brad, that's the only reason I showed up in the first place.
Betty: O.K. you guys, this is it.

Ralph: Well Betty's going to throw the bouquet.

Janet: I got it! I got it!

Ralph: Hey big fella, looks like it could be your turn next, eh?

Brad: Who knows.

Ralph: Well, so long, see you Brad. Guess we better get going now Betty. Come on, hop in. See
ya, Brad!

Janet:     Oh Brad, wasn't it wonderful? Didn't Betty look radiantly beautiful? I can't believe
           it. An hour ago she was just plain old Betty Munroe and now... now she's Mrs. Ralph
           Hapschatt.

Brad: Yes Janet, Ralph's a lucky guy.

Janet: Yes.

Dentonian: I always cry at weddings.

Brad: Uh, everyone knows that Betty is a wonderful little cook.

Janet: Yes.

Brad: Why Ralph himself, he'll be in line for a promotion in a year or two.
Janet: Yes.

Brad: Hey Janet.

Janet: Yes Brad?

Brad: I've got something to say.

Janet: Uh huh.

Brad: I really love the... skilful way... you beat the other girls... to the bride's bouquet.

Janet: Oh Brad.

Brad:      The river was deep but I swam it. (Janet)
           The future is ours so let's plan it. (Janet)
           So please, don't tell me to can it. (Janet)
           I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet I love you.

           The road was long but I ran it. (Janet)
           There's a fire in my heart and you fan it. (Janet)
           If there's one fool for you then I am it. (Janet)
           I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet I love you.

           Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker.
           There's three ways that love can grow.
           That's good, bad, or mediocre.
           Oh, J-A-N-E-T I love you so.

Janet:     Oh, it's nicer than Betty Munroe had. (Oh Brad)
           Now we're engaged and I'm so glad (Oh Brad)
           That you met Mom and you know Dad. (Oh Brad)
           I've one thing to say and that's Brad, I'm mad, for you too.

Oh Brad...

Brad: Oh... dammit!

Janet: I'm mad...

Brad: Oh, Janet.

Janet: For you.

Brad: I love you too.

Brad & Janet: There's one thing left to do - ah - oo.

Brad:      And that's go see the man who began it. (Janet)
           When we met in his science exam - it (Janet)
           Made me give you the eye and then panic. (Janet)
           Now I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet, I love you.
           Dammit, Janet.

Janet: Oh Brad, I'm mad.

Brad: Dammit, Janet.

Brad & Janet: I love you.

Narrator: I would like, ah, if I may, ...to take you on a strange journey. It seemed a fairly
           ordinary night when Brad Majors and his fiancee Janet Weiss, two young, ordinary, healthy
           kids, left Denton that late November evening, to visit a Dr. Everett Scott, ex-tutor, and
           now friend to both of them. It's true there were dark storm clouds, heavy, black, and
           pendulous, towards which they were driving. It's true, also, that the spare tire they
           were carrying was badly in need of some air, but, uh, they being normal kids and, on a
           night night out... well, they were not going to let a storm spoil the events of their
           evening, were they?... On a night out... it was a night out they were going to
           remember... for a very long time.

Janet: Gosh, that's the third motorcycle that's passed us. They sure do take their lives in
their hands, what with the weather and all.

Brad: Yes, life's pretty cheap to that type.

Janet: Oh. ...What's the matter, Brad darling?

Brad: Hmmm.. we must have taken the wrong fork a few miles back.

Janet: Oh, but where did that motorcyclist come from?

Brad: Hmmm... well I guess we'll just have to turn back.

Janet: Oh! What was that bang?

Brad: We must have a blowout. DAMMIT! I knew I should have gotten that spare tire fixed.
Well, you just stay here keep warm and I'll go for help.

Janet: But where will you go in the middle of nowhere?

Brad: Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few miles? Maybe they have a telephone I
could use.

Janet: I'm going with you.

Brad: Oh, no, darling, there's no sense in both of us getting wet.

Janet: I'm coming with you! Besides darling, the owner of that phone might be a beautiful woman,
and you might never come back again.

Brad: Heh, heh, heh, heh.

OVER AT THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE

Janet:     In the velvet darkness,
           Of the blackest night,
           Burning bright, there's a guiding star.
           No matter what or who you are.

Brad & Janet: There's a light...

Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place.

Brad & Janet: There's a light...

Chorus: Burning in the fireplace...

Brad & Janet: There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.

Riff Raff: The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming.
Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming
Into my life. Into my life...

Brad & Janet: There's a light...

Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place.

Brad & Janet: There's a light...

Chorus: Burning in the fireplace.
There's a light, a light

Brad & Janet: ...in the darkness of everybody's life.

Brad:      I can see the flag fly
           I can see the rain
           Just the same, there has got to be
           Something better here for you and me.

Narrator: And so, it seemed that fortune had smiled on Brad and Janet and that they had found the
assistance that their plight required. ...Or had they?

Janet: Brad, let's go back, I'm cold and I'm frightened...

Brad: Just a moment Janet, they might have a phone.

Riff Raff: Hello.

Brad:      Hi! My name is Brad Majors, and this is my fiancee, Janet Weiss. I wonder if you could
           help us. You see, our car broke down a few miles up the road... do you have a phone we
           might use?

Riff Raff: You're wet.

Janet: Yes - it's raining.

Brad: Yes.

Riff Raff: Yes... I think perhaps you better both come inside.

Janet: You're too kind. Oh Brad, I'm frightened. What kind of a place is this?

Brad: Oh, it's probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos.

Janet: Oh.

Riff Raff: This way.
Janet: Are you having a party?

Riff Raff: You've arrived on a rather special night. It's one of the master's affairs.

Janet: Oh, lucky him.

Magenta: You're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky! ha ha ha...

THE TIME WARP

Riff Raff: It's astounding;
           Time is fleeting;
           Madness takes its toll.
           But listen closely...

Magenta: Not for very much longer.

Riff Raff: I've got to keep control.
           I remember doing the time-warp
           Drinking those moments when
           The blackness would hit me

Riff & Magenta: And a void would be calling...

Transylvanians: Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.

Narrator: It's just a jump to the left.

All: And then a step to the right.

Narrator: With your hands on your hips.

All:       You bring your knees in tight.
           But it's the pelvic thrust
           That really drives you insane.

Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.

Magenta:   It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me.
           So you can't see me, no, not at all.
           In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention,
           Well secluded, I see all.

Riff Raff: With a bit of a mind flip

Magenta: You're into the time slip.

Riff Raff: And nothing can ever be the same.

Magenta: You're spaced out on sensation.

Riff Raff: Like you're under sedation.

All: Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.

Columbia: Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think
           When this snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.
           He shook me up, he took me by surprise
           He had a pickup truck, and the devil's eyes.
           He stared at me and I felt a change.
           Time meant nothing, never would again.

All: Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.

Narrator: It's just a jump to the left!

All: And then a step to the right.
Narrator: With your hands on your hips....

All:       You bring your knees in tight.
           But it's the pelvic thrust
           That really drives you insane.

Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.

All: Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.

Narrator: It's just a jump to the left!!

All: And then a step to the right.

Narrator: With your hands on your hips!...

All:       You bring your knees in tight.
           But it's the pelvic thrust
           that really drives you insane.

Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.

Janet: Brad, say something.

Brad: Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison?

Janet: Brad, please, let's get out of here.

Brad: For God's sake keep a grip on yourself Janet.

Janet: But it... it seems so unhealthy here.

Brad: It's just a party, Janet.

Janet: Well - I want to go.

Brad: Well we can't go anywhere until I get to a phone.

Janet: Well then ask the butler or someone.

Brad: Just a moment, Janet - we don't want to interfere with their celebration.

Janet: This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad.

Brad: They're probably foreigners with ways different than our own. They may do some more...
folk dancing.

Janet: Look, I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm just plain scared!

Brad: I'm here - there's nothing to worry about.

SWEET TRANSVESTITE

Frank:     How do you do, I
           See you've met my
           Faithful handyman.

           He's just a little brought down
           Because when you knocked
           He thought you were the candyman.

           Don't get strung out by the way I look.
           Don't judge a book by its cover.
           I'm not much of a man by the light of day
           But by night I'm one hell of a lover.

I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transsexual, Transylvania.

           Let me show you around
           Maybe play you a sound.
           You look like you're both pretty groovy.
           Or if you want something visual
           That's not too abysmal,
           We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

Brad:      I'm glad we caught you at home,
           Could we use your phone?
           We're both in a bit of a hurry.

Janet: Right.

Brad:      We'll just say where we are,
           Then go back to the car.
           We don't want to be any worry.

Frank:     Well you got caught with a flat, well, how 'bout that?
           Well, babies, don't you panic.
           By the light of the night it'll all seem alright.
           I'll get you a satanic mechanic.

I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transsexual, Transylvania.

Why don't you stay for the night?

Riff Raff: Night.

Frank: Or maybe a bite?

Columbia: Bite.

Frank:     I could show you my favourite obsession.
           I've been making a man
           With blond hair and a tan
           And he's good for relieving my......tension

           I'm just a sweet transvestite
           From Transsexual, Transylvania.
           HIT IT, HIT IT!
           I'm just a sweet transvestite

Frank, Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Sweet transvestite

Frank: From Transsexual,

Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Transylvania.

Frank:     So - come up to the lab,
           And see what's on the slab.
           I see you shiver with antici --- pation.
           But maybe the rain
           Isn't really to blame.
           So I'll remove the cause.
           But not the symptom.

Janet: Oh! Brad!

Brad: It's all right Janet. We'll play along for now and pull out the aces when the time is
right.

Columbia: Oh, slowly, slowly! It's too nice a job to rush.

Brad: Hi, my name is Brad Majors, and this is my fiancee, Janet Weiss; ah.. you are...?

Columbia: You're very lucky to be invited up to Frank's laboratory. Some people would give their
right arm for the privilege.

Brad: People like you maybe.

Columbia: Ha! I've seen it.
Riff Raff: Come along - the master doesn't like to be kept waiting.

Magenta: Shift it!

Janet: Is he, um, Frank I mean - is he your husband?

Riff Raff: The master is not yet married, nor do I think he ever will be. We are simply his
servants.

Janet: Oh.

Frank: Magenta, Columbia - go assist Riff Raff. I will entertain ...uh huh huh...

Brad: Brad Majors. This is my fiancee, Janet "Vice".

Janet: Weiss.

Brad: Weiss? Um.

Frank: Enchante.

Frank:     Well! How nice. And what charming underclothes you both have. But here. Put these on.
           They'll make you feel less... vulnerable. It's not often we receive visitors
           here, let alone offer them... hospitality.

Brad: Hospitality!? All we wanted to do was to use your telephone, Goddammit, a reasonable
request which you've chosen to ignore!

Janet: Brad, don't be ungrateful.

Brad: Ungrateful!

Frank: How forceful you are, Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So... dominant. You
must be awfully proud of him, Janet.

Janet: Well, yes I am.

Frank: Do you have any tattoos, Brad?

Brad: Certainly not!

Frank: Oh well,.. how about you?

Janet: No.

Riff Raff: Everything is in readiness, master. We merely await your... word.

Frank:     Tonight, my unconventional conventionists... you are about to witness a new breakthrough
           in biochemical research... and paradise is to be mine! It was strange the way it
           happened... suddenly you get a break... whole pieces seem to fit into place, not a sign
           of being.. what a fool! The answer was there all the time, it took a small accident to
           make it happen... AN ACCIDENT...

Magenta & Columbia: An accident!

Frank:     ..and that's how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient, that SPARK that is the
           breath of life... Yes, I have that knowledge... I hold the secret... to life... itself!
           You see, you are fortunate for tonight is the night that my beautiful creature is
           destined to be BORN! Up now! ...throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator... and
           step the reactor power input THREE MORE POINTS!

Janet: Oh, Brad!

Brad: It's all right, Janet!

Frank: Oh! Rocky!

THE SWORD OF DAMOCLES

Rocky: The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head,
And I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cutting the thread.

Frank: You IDIOT!!

Rocky: Oh, woe is me, my life is a misery.
Oh, can't you see, that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

I woke up this morning with a start when I fell out of bed.

All: That ain't no crime.

Rocky: And left from my dreaming was a feeling of unnameable dread.

All: That ain't no crime.

Rocky: My high is low, I'm dressed up with no place to go.
And all I know is I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

Frank: Oh, Rocky!